Recently I have been faced with the thoughts of what it is I'm truly looking for in a man with whom I desire to share my life....whether as my husband or as my companion. I was a rather late bloomer in the relationship category, only within the last 5 years having embarked on this journey of dating. Poor self esteem and body image kept me bound, unable to love myself and certainly not able to really consider loving someone else. The experiences I am now having as a woman in my 30s, are those that most people had some 20 years ago. I seriously have been behind the curve. I dealt with depression and all the challenges of wondering 'Why?' Its just been within the last few years that I have begun to feel comfortable in my skin. I lost 50 pounds a few years ago (only now to have gained it back) and when this happened, it seemed to have opened doors I never knew existed in regards to the opposite sex. Some good, some not so good. I made mistakes. I encountered some real jerks. But, I did come in contact with a few men who really knew how to treat a woman, respectfully and gentlemanly....chivalry is definitely not out of style! You understand that life is full of choices, and you can either make those choices out of wisdom or out of feeling. Feelings get you in trouble almost every time! Judge all things and have it settled in your heart and mind what you WON'T allow. If you remain too 'open-minded' you just might let something or someone in you were not expecting and do not want. Your love and affection are priceless gifts that should not be squandered on a man who will never know how to appreciate them.
I wrote this note once to a man in my life and it has now become the standard by which I judge all others. I had it tucked away, but sometimes its good just to REMEMBER, so you can refocus and continue moving forward in confidence and steadfastness.
"...i just want you to know these things...how much i truly appreciate you, our friendship, what we share, how you treat me, the way you care about me....you talk freely and openly with me, you don't play me, you don't mess with my emotions, you don't make unrealistic expectations and plans, you say what you mean and you mean what you say. You empower me and encourage me, you ask tough questions and you challenge me...you cause me to think differently...you support me and listen to me....and you help me be better and do better. i don't know what i did to deserve such a friend, such a lover, as you, but I am so very thankful...so truly blessed."
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