The Lessons Were His Gift To Me: Dwayne Burno's Legacy of Expression

Its been just over 57 hours since learning the tragic news of the passing of my friend and jazz master bassist, Dwayne Burno. I know many, like me, have been going over memories of him in their minds, recalling conversations, performances, dinners, family gatherings, etc. We all have our experiences and memories with Dwayne. We're all dealing with his passing in our own individual ways. There isn't a right or wrong way to grieve. It just is. And that's ok. 

Talking through my own personal grief over Dwayne's passing with my family & friends, I am able to process and come to a realization about who Dwayne was to me and the blessing he was in my life.  And what his life taught me ABOUT life. 

I don't know about you, but I hear his voice in my heart and I see his face when I close my eyes, and I think of him when I am listening to jazz and I hear the bass line. Its amazing that I am experiencing all of these levels of remembrance, and I was only in his presence 3 times. But once you met him, he left an indelible mark on your spirit. Throughout the past almost 6 years, I would check in on him since he had faced various health issues, his kidney transplant, and most recently issues with his heart. He was one of those people you just always kept tabs on every couple of weeks either by phone, text, or instant message. One thing that always amazed me about him and his dedication and love for jazz, was that for years he traveled around the world, lugging all of his medical equipment while on dialysis. He didn't go anywhere without it. And yet, he never let it stop him from living or making beautiful music. 

That was lesson #1. Don't let obstacles get in your way of pursuing your passion & purpose. Keep at it, every day. No matter what the situation looks like. 

Lesson #2: Never let time pass by without telling those loved ones in your life how much you love and appreciate them, because you never know when your last conversation with them will be. I found out all too well this past week, when my final conversation with Dwayne was on Christmas Eve, and we exchanged Christmas wishes. I told him Merry Christmas and that I loved him much, at which he replied 'Love you too, CAT. Merry Christmas.' 

In May, Dwayne posted this on his Facebook wall:

Dwayne Burno

May 30 via mobile

Seriously, y'all. Make, take, borrow and/or steal the time to let those you love know in life rather than posthumously exclaim and proclaim your adoration. Doesn't mean s*it when you can hear or enjoy it.

He knew the importance of expressing love and appreciation to those people in his life who he loved. He did it freely and without obligation. He did it and he meant it. Every word. Every time.  He wasn't afraid of the words "I love you." Because he meant them, genuinely, sincerely. We, too, must not be afraid to say those 3 powerful words. They can change someone's life. It doesn't have to be a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. If you care about someone, tell them. You may not ever get the chance again, so make the most of every opportunity. Time is short. We're not guaranteed tomorrow. Dwayne understood this, I believe. 

Dwayne Burno will not only be remembered as a master jazz musician, with his unmatched knowledge of and skill in the art of jazz, composition, history and technical ability, but also his passionate pursuit, dedication and expression of humanity. He was the embodiment of Life, Love, and all things JAZZ. 

Nothing stopped him from living or making his beautiful music. For me to embrace that in my own life would be the greatest acknowledgment of the gift he passed to me. 

As memorial plans get underway, you may donate directly to the family through the Jazz Foundation of America. Please make donations either online at: 
JAZZ FOUNDATION OF AMERICA 
OR 
MAIL A CHECK IN HONOR OF DWAYNE BURNO TO : 

Jazz Foundation of America

322 West 48th Street, 6th Floor

New York, NY 10036. 

(212)245-3999

http://bit.ly/1cf3gxm

Dwayne Burno ~ Update on Donations for His Family

Below is an update from a friend of the family, regarding Wendy & Quinn, and information about tax deductible contributions through the Jazz Foundation for the family…
https://fundly.com/our-friend-wendy-just-lost-her-husband-and-needs-help#home

Michael Galinsky

Wendy and Quinn are very thankful

I just wanted to let everyone know that Wendy and Quinn are overwhelmed and appreciative of the outpouring of support. They are both doing well. They are working on setting up a memorial service at some point in the future. Wendy is also making arrangements with the Jazz Foundation to arrange the ability to accept tax deductible donations through the organization for those who are interested. The memo of checks should say Dwayne Burno.

Jazz Foundation Info

Here is the information on the jazz foundation and tax deductible donations to Dwayne's family - Thanks to Lois Gilbert for passing it on.

As memorial plans get underway, you may make a tax-deductible donation to the family through the Jazz Foundation of America, who has been helping Dwayne Burno since the illness first took its toll.

Please make donations either online, here:
JAZZ FOUNDATION OF AMERICA
http://jazzfoundation.org/

=OR=

MAIL A CHECK IN HONOR OF DWAYNE BURNO TO :
Jazz Foundation of America
322 West 48th Street, 6th Floor 

New York, NY 10036 

(212) 245-3999

Kindred Spirit ~ Comprehending the Loss of a Friend

Dwayne Burno 

Dwayne Burno & Myself at SMOKE Jazz & Supper Club
New York City
October 2009

        

Yesterday, I received devastating news that my dear friend, kindred spirit, and Jazz Master, Dwayne Burno transitioned from this world. It was shocking & paralyzing news. There was no one like this human being. He spoke with raw honesty and incredible respect for humanity, passionate about the music he gave his life to, and a heart full of love for his wonderful wife and beautiful son. If you were lucky enough for Dwayne to call you his friend, you knew it was a lifetime thing, and he would fight to the death on your behalf and cuss out anyone who spoke ill of you or to you.  You never had to question that he would always be in your corner. And he was generous with his words of love and appreciation for the loved ones in his life. 

On my 35th birthday, I decided to take a bus trip to NYC (I'd been living in DC and never been to the Big Apple). So, I called Dwayne to let him know where I wanted to spend my birthday, and he just so happened to have a gig the weekend I would be in town. So I made the trip and enjoyed his gig at SMOKE Jazz & Supper Club, and at the stroke of midnight, the server brought me a dessert with a candle lit on top, compliments of Dwayne in honor of my special day. That's just how thoughtful he was. :)

Just this past Tuesday night, Christmas Eve 2013, we exchanged our Christmas wishes for each other and our families via instant messenger, and his final words to me were, "Love you too, CAT. Merry Christmas." I never ever doubted that he loved me. You know those kinds of friends. Dwayne was such. 

I told him once that I couldn't understand how I was so lucky to have been blessed by his friendship, and that I couldn't imagine my world without him. He was one of the precious ones. The tears that fall from my eyes at this very moment, will undoubtedly dry some day in the future, but tonight, my heart is broken. An angel has left my world. 

Rest in sweet peace, DB.  Much love, ALWAYS. 

***Friends of Dwayne's have put together a Fundly Campaign to provide financial support for Dwayne's wife Wendy and their son Quinn. For more information and/or to contribute support, please visit: www.fundly.com/our-friend-wendy-just-lost-her-husband-and-needs-help

Women's Rights and the Religious Right

Where is all the pro-life love when a baby arrives and the mother needs assistance taking care of it, but the state cuts her benefits and the church shuns the mother because she may be unwed, etc, which happens more often than church folk want to admit. When the church actually steps up to the plate and takes an active role in supporting women & children like the Lord speaks about in the Bible, THEN maybe what the church has to say will mean more than just a bunch of hot air & hypocrisy.

Civility, Oh Civility, Wherefore Art Thou....

     I am continually amazed at the ignorance and disrespect directed at our President, women, at my brothers and sisters in the LGBT community, and my African American brothers and sisters. And the folks clamoring the loudest and speaking the most vile things on the planet, are those individuals from the church. Jesus did NOT advocate this behavior.  Period. His ONE and only commandment to us was to L.O.V.E. 

     I get that you may have fundamental differences in beliefs and that your religion taught you another lifestyle. But that does not give you the right to bash another human being verbally to get your point across or wear your pride like a cloak. Just because you have an opinion doesn't make you right. It just makes it right for YOUR life. Don't push your own choices on others, and if you profess to be a Christian and hope to bring others into the 'fold,' you may want to chill out because the hate you wear will be the repellant that drives souls away.

President Obama: "I could have been Trayvon"

I watched President Obama's presser today and was thankful for his transparency and sincerity. He didn't read from a teleprompter, but spoke from the heart. I could tell he has thought long about Trayvon's death, spoken with his daughters and the First Lady. Our country has a long way to go, but I will NOT stand back and stay silent while #haters disrespect. I was appalled to see the conservative tweeters start an onslaught of hateful speech directed at the President and his words, calling him at one point, the "Racist in Chief." Some folks have simply lost their mind. I am proud of my #President. I will stand with him, and will not keep silent when confronted 

with hate and judgment and disrespect. 

#LOVE

John 13:34
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

Matthew 7:12 
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

https://twitter.com/OLSRPortsmouth

Fanatical About Flowers!

I won't generalize and say that ALL women love flowers, but THIS woman does....and I would venture to guess that I possess all the undirected love of non-flower-loving ladies on the planet. #truth When I see those petal pretties, no matter where I am or what I'm doing, I stop & snap a pic. My iPhoto and iPhone are full of these natural beauties! Here are some that I snapped this past week...

Charlotte skyscraper...

Yes, Charlotte has a few of those! We're no NYC or ChiTown, 

but we have some pretty cool buildings. 

#BofA Building, North Tryon Street,

#Uptown Charlotte

On Rotation.....

Remembering My Great Uncle....

I am remembering Uncle Myron today.  Capt. Myron Eckhart Jr., was an inspiration to me.  A proud Navy man. Intelligent. Hardworking. Loved his country. A prolific writer, published in scientific & engineering journals as well as national editorial columns regarding politics and policy issues. A brilliant scientist, committed to designing Nimitz aircraft carriers, Trident strategic submarines and Los Angeles class submarines, as well as radar to shipboard displays and landing controls for aircraft and communications systems for submarines.  Upon visits with he and my Aunt Joan in their DC-area home, I felt at home and embraced with such love and a sense of the rich history of my family. As an adult, I was truly blessed to have had the privilege to get to know them, listen to the many stories of our family; just soaking up as much knowledge as I possibly could. I knew I had much to learn, and I was so grateful to have him my life. And I'm so thankful for his influence in my Mom's life, and the inspiration he was to me to learn and study and question, to have an opinion, and to love & serve my country with an unwavering, passionate commitment. 

On Purpose...

Just a little hope....

Life may not always deal us a good hand.  Circumstances arise that present to us seemingly impossible odds.  We may be stopped in our pursuit for a short time, but its important to make sure it is just that, a momentary glitch. A timing issue. Not a detour on the path toward our purpose. Life happens. Its true. But, use that moment in time to refocus.  And get back on the road.  

Pope Francis I - First Latin American Pope

Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio became the 266th Pope this day, 

the first Jesuit, the first Latin American pope.  This is a new day.  

It has been said, "Nothing is impossible with God."  

Today, Pope Francis greeted us with gentleness, simplicity, softness, humility, 

and a commitment to the poor among us.  

 "Let's begin this journey, bishop and people, journey of brotherhood, 

love and trust among us," says new pope.

"Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words."

~ St. Francis of Assisi

Coffee Klatch

Coffee Klatch

Do you know what this is?  Have you ever heard this term before?  My Momma and Grandma used to talk about having coffee klatches, and it was always such a mysterious idea, and then as I got older, I realized what they were talking about. Here you go:

Coffee klatch or coffee klatsch also kaf·fee·klatsch (k f-kl ch, -kläch, kô f-) n. A casual social gathering for coffee and conversation.

I much prefer saying that I was engaged in a coffee klatch rather than simply "grabbing coffee" with someone.  Seems so unfeeling and rushed to say "grabbing coffee."  Coffee is meant to be consumed slowly, enjoyed by every taste bud that makes its residence your tongue.  And it wasn't just about the coffee.  Its coffee AND conversation.  Not merely snatching your triple tall, extra hot, two splenda, no foam sugar free vanilla latte off the bar and bolting out the door to your next locale.  Its engaging with another human being, exchanging conversation, learning, listening, LIVING.  Building relationships. Imparting love and light, and receiving it in return.  Life is about living, breathing, bonding; joining others along this journey, sharing, and simply being a friend.  

Simple stuff.  

So today, I am off to have a coffee klatch with a new friend. 

You should too!

Cheers!

Can you SEE it?

This seems to be me, as of late....What about you?

On Rotation....Bill Evans

All evening, I was listening to this on Spotify. Check it out!

Post CAT-Nanny

For those of you who did NOT know, I am/was a nanny.  

(Image from capitolcitynannies.com)

I've worked with kids since I was a kid....had my first babysitting job when I was 13, watching two little boys from my church who lived about a block behind my house in the neighborhood where I grew up.  I've been a coach, substitute teacher, teacher assistant, camp counselor, daycare teacher; pretty much working with kids of every age, from newborn into high school.  Not always easy, sometimes downright ugly.  But, I'm sure we all remember times when we were kids that we were downright ugly (and our parents could vouch for it in a hot second!)  

 

Needless to say, each opportunity I have had to work with kids over the years has taught me a lot about myself, relatively what its like to walk in the parent's shoes, and try to understand the mind of a child.  One of the major things I've learned over the years is that times have drastically changed from when I was a kid.  Some of the things kids get away with these days I NEVER would have gotten away with when I was their age. Nope. Times have changed.

How do we help kids become the best that they can be, reaching their highest potential?  (No, I'm not going into some long, drawn out explanation of child psychology and empowerment,) BUT, it does begin with wide open lines of communication and establishing your role as the adult, parent, caregiver, authoritarian, and teacher, etc.  When there are clearly defined roles, boundaries, and opportunities for kids to learn, they feel secure and empowered (Ok, so a teeny bit of an empowerment speech!) to be their authentic self, even at a young age.  

When you establish yourself as the adult, decision maker, or authority, that provides kids with a point of reference when they have questions or feel unsafe, or are simply navigating life.  This is not a dictator role you're playing.  But you are the leader, as the adult, not the friend or peer.  You can do this with all compassion and love. 

Love them AND lead them. 

Religion, Politics, and the Golden Rule

Folks say that the two topics that will NOT necessarily win friends and influence people are religion and politics.  You're not to discuss them with potential mates or family members around the holidays, unless you are looking to ruin perfectly good relationships, or the possibility of one.  Why are these two topics so divisive in our society?  Why is it, when religion and politics come together in one conversation, or Facebook post or Tweet, it tends to set off the vilest of responses?  I grew up in the church.  Anytime the doors were open, my Momma jokes, I was there.  That was my safe haven.  It was the one place I knew I could go where I felt safe from all harm and personal attacks from bullies and naysayers.  This is not the case any longer.  It has become, in my opinion, one of THE MOST unsafe places in our society.  

It used to be a place where healing took place.  Ok, so maybe I'm generalizing about 'all' churches, which, is most likely not the case.  But, the overwhelming response coming out of the Christian community these days is one of hate and intolerance.  Political conservatives, whether on the right, the left, or in the middle (if that's possible), are hell bent on slamming anyone with a differing opinion.  Who cares about an open discussion.  Let's just slam and slander.  Why is that?  The one community crying out for tolerance the loudest is the Christian community, and they have become, one of THE MOST intolerant communities in our society.  The church's stance on abortion, gay rights, social justice, and equality scream intolerance.  I want to scream back, "IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT YOU!"  (I know I'm not going to win any 'favor points' with my Christian friends on this one, but I'm being honest and transparent about what I've seen and experienced.)  At what point did we decide it was our job to sit in God's seat and begin judging each and every person's life and the decisions they make?  Does it not say in the Bible, "Judge not..." in Matthew 7?  Call it moral relativism, I really don't care.  What I do care about is that we are called and commanded to LOVE. Simple stuff, really.  Not hate.  Not slander.  Not vile words.  Not personal attacks. 

If you don't agree with someone's opinion, or how they live their life, don't judge, take the time to learn about them and WHY they believe what they believe.  Don't let the first words that come out of your mouth be full of hate and contempt for someone you most likely do not know.  Apply the Golden Rule.....yep, it still exists, and its still relevant.  Always will be.  Do you remember what it is?  Let me remind you....

My parents taught me as a child that if I didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.  I believe many problems in society today could be remedied if we would simply remember those nuggets of wisdom.  Just because we have an opinion about something, doesn't mean we have to open our mouths and share it.  We don't corner the market on all knowledge.  Sometimes its best just to keep our mouths shut.  

And listen.  And learn.  And LOVE.

"Things Done Changed..."

Like a dear friend recently wrote on their blog, "Things done changed."

Welcome back to CAT's blog, or should I say, welcome back to ME.  Its been, OH MY GOSH, 2 years since my last post....SERIOUSLY??  That can't be.  Let me look at my blog timeline again.  OMG. May 21, 2011 was the date of my last post.  Way too long.

So, please forgive me for my delay. 

Much has transpired since May 2011.  I was just starting my journey through graduate school, pursuing my MBA in Public Administration, and looking for a job after being unemployed for nearly seven months.  In November of 2011, I decided to take a leap of faith and put to good use the 15+ years of administrative experience I had gained.  Catalyst Unlimited, Inc. was launched, and my life began to change.  

Never once, in my wildest dreams did I see myself as a small business owner.  Graduate school was never in those dreams either.  Clearly, I need to dream bigger!  Catalyst is a Virtual Assistant firm, assisting businesses and individuals with various administrative tasks, project management, and event planning.  I have absolutely loved working for myself, meeting other business owners from so many varying industries and arenas.  Its been a slow start, but the opportunities are there, and I just need to be diligent, and patient, and seek out every opportunity.  

Graduation takes place (actually walking in the ceremony) in May, and then I'll have 2 more Summer courses to complete before my diploma is mailed to me.  Hard to believe its already been over 2 years since I began graduate school.  It will be nice to be finished.

This past September, 2012, the Democratic National Convention was held here in Charlotte, and I had the great opportunity to attend the Women's Caucus meetings held at the Charlotte Convention Center.

I had the amazing honor and privilege to hear the incredible female leaders in our nation, both in the public and private sector.  On Tuesday during the DNC, I sat in the 2nd row, soaking up the words of:

 Cecile Richards - President of Planned Parenthood

Kathleen Sibelius - United States Secretary of Health & Human Services

Donna Brazile - MY FAVORITE: Vice-Chair of the Democratic National Committee 

& Democratic Strategist

Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi - Senate Majority Leader

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz - (D-FL) and the 

Chair of the Democratic National Committee

Valerie Jarrett - Senior Advisor to President Barack Obama

I also had the honor of meeting the Vice-Chair of the Democratic Party 

of the State of Georgia, Sally Rosser...

as well as 2 strong, intelligent, and beautiful delegates from their state: 

Ashley Lee and Michelle Cooper Kelly

The icing on the cake came when two very special visitors joined us on the second day of the Women's Caucus:

Dr. Jill Biden and First Lady Michelle Obama

 Dr. Jill Biden

I had the great honor of shaking both of their hands at the conclusion of the meeting, with First Lady looking directly into my eyes as she held my hand, asking "Are you ready to go?"  And without wavering, I responded, "Yes I am!"  It was the most surreal moment of my life, and one that I will not quickly forget. 

I have always loved and been intrigued by politics and political commentary, but the week the DNC came to town solidified it all for me.  Confirmed to me that my choice of Public Administration as my MBA specialization was the PERFECT one!  I have the opportunity to apply for a 2 year paid fellowship, working with a federal government agency, following graduation.  It would be incredible to be a part of the work of President Obama's Administration! 

School, building Catalyst, and working a part time job has been my focus for the past 2+ years.  Not much else can be crammed into my day, other than a few monthly Charlotte City Council meetings, and the potential seat on the Community Relations Committee for the City.  Final vote on my nomination is March 25th, so I'll keep you all posted.  It would be my first step into the world of public administration.  

We will see.....so stay tuned!

Mr. Gregory Porter....

So, I had basically snoozed on this gentleman for the past year or so since he's been on EVERYONE'S radar....rave reviews, everyone loves Mr. Porter's deep, baritone voice, yada, yada, yada....I'm not a huge fan of vocal jazz.  I'm just not. I have a few friends who are amazingly, talented jazz vocalists, and I could listen to them for countless hours.  However, I wasn't at a place in my life that I was ready to let another vocalist into my jazz heart.

That changed 2 weeks ago when Wynton Marsalis and the Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra performed "Blood on the Fields" at the Rose Room, and I was tuned in via JALC Live Webcasts.  Mr. Gregory Porter performed several songs throughout the evening, gaining my respect, and a new fan.  If you have not heard this gentleman, make sure you do so in the very near future.