Dusk in Silver Spring

Thoughts on 'Connection'; Need vs. Necessity

As a Christian, I believe God created us with a need for connection with others, be it relational or professional, romantic or platonic. At its core is a desire to know and be known; we were created for fellowship, with God and man.

However, because we are human, sometimes the need for that connection becomes unhealthy and our judgment gets clouded. We begin opening ourselves up to people who were never a consideration before; simply because we are lonely, or we're lacking love and affection, or our finances are in disarray, or maybe we lost our job and someone offers to help. Whatever the case may be, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to someone who has no business being in our life. Please hear me, this is neither a male nor female issue...this is a HUMAN issue.

At first everything is great, our needs are being met, we're feeling better about ourselves and our situation. But, after some time, it could be a few days or a few years, its not so good anymore. Conversation begins waning, promises are broken, there are strings attached to the help being offered. You realize the other person is no longer giving, unselfishly, but taking, selfishly. Hidden agendas are revealed where you thought a genuine desire to offer assistance previously existed. Love is taken for granted. You recognize that you have sacrificed so much of yourself, your time, emotions, affections, attention, self-worth & self-respect. You don't know yourself any longer. You find yourself in a place spiritually, that you never expected you would be. You wonder why you allowed this to happen. You wish you could go back to the way life was before you met this person. Life really wasn't quite as bad as you thought. The grass ain't always greener on the other side. You're hurt, broken, disappointed, emotionally spent, physically drained, confused, disillusioned about people and motives.

You can do one of two things: 1) you can stay in that place of brokenness and self pity, most likely poisoning any future attempts at REAL connection; or 2) you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and make a commitment, to yourself and God, that you will learn from this mistake and CHOOSE no longer to let your need or emotions dictate your actions.

I will admit, I have been in this position before, and its not easy to walk away, especially when you feel your need is great. However, you MUST realize, your WORTH is greater, and you deserve to be treated with so much more respect. The right people are out there with whom you can be involved in healthy connections. You are loved by a GREAT God who wants only the best for you, and has only the best for you. You must want it too. AND, you must seek Him for it.

Don't settle.

A happy flower!

I took these two flower photos on my walk today with the little boy I care for (I'm a full time Nanny.) I am enthralled by pretty pinkies!

Gone to Carolina...

Meet the tangible expression of my wild side! How fun would it be to ride this beautiful piece of machinery?! My Dad owns a cruiser that he and my Momma get out on. I have been a rider on the backside, but had never thought of owning one myself....until I saw this beauty! Pink and black with pink neon lights. Heavenly! One day, this will be mine! Watch out!

Living....

Living

(written 12.05.09)

Life is full of choices.

Are we lead from within,

Or do we listen to the voices?

Mistakes are a part of the game.

Do we embrace them as education,

Or find some way to place blame?

Joy is found in life's simplest pleasures.

Can we become like an innocent child,

Or do we choose to miss out on priceless treasures?

Opportunities are presented to us every day.

Do we have the courage to accept them,

Or does our fear force us to push them away?

Living is more than breathing.

Have we become like robots,

Or can we release ourselves completely to find the true meaning?

Life.

Ahmad Jamal...Poinciana

Unfortunately, this is not the original version recorded by Ahmad Jamal, which included Israel Crosby on bass and Vernell Fournier on drums. The original, written by Nat Simon and Buddy Bernier in 1936, was recorded in 1958 by Ahmad Jamal. It was based on a traditional Cuban folk song, "Cancion Del Arbol" (Song of the Tree), with Spanish lyrics by Manuel Lliso. Benny Carter, Bing Crosby, and Glenn Miller all recorded it in the early 40s, but Jamal's version became the standard. It can be found on the album At the Pershing: But Not for Me for the Chess Record label. Enjoy!

http://www.wicn.org/song-week/poinciana-1936

Hope on a Tightrope by Dr. Cornel West

This is a fantastic book by Dr. West. After hearing him speak at my former church in Charlotte, I became interested in his writings and the things he shared. He is able to bring together the intellectual, spiritual, political, and relational in a way to make it all cohesive and extremely understandable. I can't help but be inspired to think differently, live differently, look at the world differently, and relate differently to everything and everyone around me. We are in a day and age that we must aspire to and attain a higher level of existing...no more settling for the status quo. We MUST go higher! Dr. West's book, Hope on a Tightrope, is a book you must have in your collection. I sat in a bookstore coffee shop reading it for 3 1/2 hours....bought it for a friend, but also need to buy it for myself. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have!

Hope on a Tightrope Book Review
By Kam Williams

"We are now in one of the most truly prophetic moments in the history of America. The poor and very poor are sleeping with self-destruction. The working and middle classes are struggling against paralyzing pessimism and privileged are swinging between cynicism and hedonism. Yes, these are the circumstances that people of conscience must operate under during this moment of national truth or consequences.

We have witnessed the breakdown of the social systems that nurture our children. Our rootless children… have no cultural armor to protect them while negotiating the terrors and traumas of daily life. Young people need a community to sustain them, so that they can look death in the face and deal with disease, dread and despair. These days we are in deep trouble.

The audacity of hope won the 2008 Democratic primary, yet we are still living in the shadow of the vicious realignment of the American electorate, provoked by the media's negative appeals to race and gender and the right-wing propaganda that bashes vulnerable groups… Real hope is grounded in a particularly messy struggle and it can be betrayed by naïve projections of a better future that ignore the necessity of doing the real work. So what we are talking about is hope on a tightrope."

Excerpted from the Introduction (pages 1-6)

As the United States stands poised to make history with the impending presidential election, it takes considerable courage for a very public black intellectual like Dr. Cornel West to refrain from jumping headlong onto the Obama bandwagon. But Professor West has opted to remain true to his core values by sharing the sage insight that an African-American occupying the White House will not automatically mean the struggle for equality is over or that we have realized Dr. King's dream of a post-racial society where one is judged not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character.

In Hope on a Tightrope , an eloquent collection of both audio (on CD) and printed meditations, West indirectly challenges Obama to prove that the "Audacity of Hope" is more than a campaign slogan, asking, "What price are you willing to pay?" And the author goes on to warn that "American politics has a way of grinding the best out of a person" and that "it reduces their prudent judgment into opportunistic behavior."

Undoubtedly, there will be many folks who feel it is unfair to ask Obama to focus on the plight of the least of his brethren even before he's had a chance be inaugurated, let alone revel in the euphoria of his stunning accomplishment. Yet, as implied by the Dr. King metaphor he's been so fond of quoting on the stump, there is a "fierce urgency of now." So I say, Dr. West must be commended for so lovingly and frankly reminding Barack of the meaning of that phrase while exploring a litany of themes in a heartfelt manner, topics ranging from leadership to faith to family to identity to education to spirituality to service to social justice.

A passionate appeal to Obama about his responsibility to the masses and the millions of modest contributors who helped put him in office, plus a timely message that "You can't save the people if you don't serve the people."

Hope on a Tightrope:
Words & Wisdom
by Cornel West
Smiley Books
Hardcover
246 pages, illustrated (Includes a free CD)
ISBN: 1401921868

http://newsblaze.com/story/20081027134112kamw.nb/topstory.html