As a Christian, I believe God created us with a need for connection with others, be it relational or professional, romantic or platonic. At its core is a desire to know and be known; we were created for fellowship, with God and man.
However, because we are human, sometimes the need for that connection becomes unhealthy and our judgment gets clouded. We begin opening ourselves up to people who were never a consideration before; simply because we are lonely, or we're lacking love and affection, or our finances are in disarray, or maybe we lost our job and someone offers to help. Whatever the case may be, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to someone who has no business being in our life. Please hear me, this is neither a male nor female issue...this is a HUMAN issue.
At first everything is great, our needs are being met, we're feeling better about ourselves and our situation. But, after some time, it could be a few days or a few years, its not so good anymore. Conversation begins waning, promises are broken, there are strings attached to the help being offered. You realize the other person is no longer giving, unselfishly, but taking, selfishly. Hidden agendas are revealed where you thought a genuine desire to offer assistance previously existed. Love is taken for granted. You recognize that you have sacrificed so much of yourself, your time, emotions, affections, attention, self-worth & self-respect. You don't know yourself any longer. You find yourself in a place spiritually, that you never expected you would be. You wonder why you allowed this to happen. You wish you could go back to the way life was before you met this person. Life really wasn't quite as bad as you thought. The grass ain't always greener on the other side. You're hurt, broken, disappointed, emotionally spent, physically drained, confused, disillusioned about people and motives.
You can do one of two things: 1) you can stay in that place of brokenness and self pity, most likely poisoning any future attempts at REAL connection; or 2) you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and make a commitment, to yourself and God, that you will learn from this mistake and CHOOSE no longer to let your need or emotions dictate your actions.
I will admit, I have been in this position before, and its not easy to walk away, especially when you feel your need is great. However, you MUST realize, your WORTH is greater, and you deserve to be treated with so much more respect. The right people are out there with whom you can be involved in healthy connections. You are loved by a GREAT God who wants only the best for you, and has only the best for you. You must want it too. AND, you must seek Him for it.
Don't settle.
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